Last week my family was on vacation and like most 22 year olds, I packed in the five minutes before my family was walking out the door. Thankfully we were going to the beach so not much was needed; Sunscreen, bathing suite, and towel, everything else was optional.
It still amazes me that even though not much is needed/taken, I still manage to turn my room upside down and set off a few hidden mines in the process. Which leaves my room in complete chaos.
When we came home saturday, from the week of heaven, I was hoping to discover Mary Poppins had been there and cleaned it all up... or at least cobbler Elves... Anyone really would have been fine. Just as long as I didn't have to do it myself. I am sad to report that in fact no one had shown up and I was left with the mess.
I started in on my bathroom, it had been bare all week 'cause I had pretty much dumped all my stuff into a bag to take with me. So, before putting it all back I figured it would be a good time to scrub it all down.
With a shiny bathroom I migrated to my bedroom and I began to folding, stacking and throwing out stuff.
I have inherited from one of my parents, or man-kind, the habit of putting things on shelves with the thought, "I will use that later for a project", "I may need that later for some project", or "I will look through that more closely at a later date." After many many years of thinking that, I have not successfully gone back and really used those things. So, I threw a lot out. It was great removing the surface level of stuff.
But then I reached a new level of Stuff. Journals, Notes and Prayers scribbled on pieces of paper and sermon notes reaching back three years. As I paged through the stuff trying to decide on what I should do with it, I had an odd thought that I wasn't expecting. I became afraid (to a small degree) that if I got rid of the journals in particular, I would in some way lose those things in my life. The times I had written about in the pages of those note books would be gone. In that moment I heard an ever gentle voice reassure me of the fact that those times and moments would not be lost to me. Those moments happened to me. They are part of me, they are in my memories and they are part of what has made me who I am.
So without fear I trudged on tossing out old stuff knowing that just because it is gone, the experiences I had are not. Not even close.
I breezed through several more piles of stuff and I had a sense of accomplishment wash over me as I was able to begin to see progress.
Progress is a BEAUTIFUL thing I might add.
So no more fear of what may be lost. Check.
A short while later I heard the still gentle voice again, so clearly. I had briefly had the thought that "what if I got rid of something and than down the road it was perfect for a project I was working on and for whatever reason I wouldn't have the funds to go buy a new one or what I needed, what then?" And so clearly I heard Him say, You are clearing space for the one who satisfies everything. "I don't leave you wanting anything. I am enough." Throughout my pages of scripture I have told person after person, I am enough.
He is ENOUGH. Just take a moment and let that sink in....
HE. God. Creator. Lover of my life. The guy who is holding EVERYTHING together with a hand.
The one who painted the skies with stars, HE is ENOUGH.
Phew... That fueled me even more. Papers where flying. I couldn't toss things out fast enough.
If all of that was not enough, my little brain got blown up a third time.
I looked at all the stuff surrounding me, and all the stuff in bags headed to the garbage outside and it hit me. I had been suffocating. Not literally but spiritually I had been snuffing out the life within me and the ability to live fully. Also, I wasn't just suffocating myself but I was suffocating out God. He had to wade through all the 'stuff' around me to get to me. The space left for Him to operate and myself was mere inches.
It totally turned the tables on overhauling my stuff. It's good to flush out your surroundings but for me now, its a physical act of "Here God, move in my life. Here is space to come and have your way. All the gunk is gone."
Do you have stuff up to your eyeballs--suffocating the life out of you? Need an Over-Haul?
****Vacation photos coming soon. :) Along with a very very exciting announcement!! ****
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